I hate strippers bruh. I met this one girl in Walmart. You know how the lines in Walmart move slower than the Cerberus from black ops 3? The girl in front of me had a ass that was unbelievably fat. Ain't no reason why a ass should jiggle like it been hit with a sonic boom. I had to holla at that. Strippers love scammers so I had to show her I was balling. I paid for her groceries. I know I disappointed a few real ones with what I just said but sometimes you gotta drop that cash so she drop that ass. My kind gesture had repercussions but it worked in my favor cause she invited over to her crib to chill. She told me it would be worth my while. I broke my piggy bank in my room and yes took out all the cash I had saved up. A nigga had $17.38 to his name word to Fetty Wap. It wasn't enough but I knew if I made it rain on that ass and when she wasn't looking I could pick my money and throw it again. I hope she wasn't looking for a fancy dinner with candles. I bought McDonalds and a blunt. I'm At her crib cooling bout to fuck up these nuggets when she begins to give me a lap dance. Hold up bitch they ain't even give me no sauce I might have to go back. She told me I wasn't going no where and started giving me a lap dance. Now everybody know McDonald's nuggets ain't the same with no sauce. I started spitting on them bitches but it still was hard like coal. Shit was cute till she started twerking over my nuggets. You not about to disrespect my food. I'm watching this bitter sweet moment transpire when I see Patrick's secret box string hanging from her booty shorts. A real nigga was tempted to pull it. I yanked the string and the whole tampon fell out. I couldn't believe my eyes B. She Deadass ain't just try to seduce me while she was on her period. Bitch was booling all over my nuggets. Literally. Miss me with that blood shit Cuz. She tried to act like nothing happen. I left her crib with my nuggets. You know McDonald's is stingy with the sauce. I Consider it a blessing and a curse at the same time. She twerked her ketchup all up on them bitches. Idgaf them nuggets was good af.
Ima tell y'all the story about when I got my ass beat. I was at the mall shopping around on this beautiful Saturday afternoon. I was walking to Cotton On minding my own business when all of a sudden I see this bad ass female walking past me. Eyebrows on fleek and everything. Her ass already juggling, full on twerk mode and she wasn't even in a squat position. My eyes just got wide open like a furby when you open the eyelids all the way. Her ass was my business now at this point. I started following her around the entire mall just completely zoned out. I recall blinking once. Don't quote me on that. Anyways.. out of no where this dude starts walking towards my baby. He grabs her by the waist and goes in for a kiss. I never felt so devastated and disrespected in my life. I been following shawty for more than an hour, what gives him the right to do that? I don't care who he is. He owed me an apology. This was worse than when your homie let the Sprite Slam Cam play when he dunk on you in 2k. This was worse than slavery. I had to follow them both now. Suddenly I see him bout to look back, now I had 2 options I could've made at that point.. either keep looking at them cheeks or quickly look away before he catches me and take the L. Now my father didn't raise a bitch, so I kept looking. Bruh he came at me so fast like he was a 3rd string running back fighting for spot on the team. This nigga falcon punched me in my chest so hard my shoulders clapped and gave him a full standing ovation. I didn't even get a chance to take my hands out my pocket when he hit me. My pride left my body that same day and never came back. I almost lost my left eye that day, word to Fetty Wap. I shop at Ross and dd Discounts now